vintage/nature
Bach: polyphony is the new black
Haydn: surprise motherfucker
Mozart: some people just never grow up :/
Beethoven: some people just never grOW OUT OF THEIR EMO PHASE
Tchaikovsky: sad, gay, and ready to slay
Brahms: the song Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne was written specifically for him
Liszt: ill play you a piece if you strip on the piano
Rachmaninoff: this footlong handspan is compensating for something else
Wagner: wow i cant believe he stole lord of the rings
Strauss: you stop dancing, you die
Berlioz: *vapes*
Sibelius: nature is here and shes looking more beautiful than ever
Mahler: nature is here and shes PISSED
Shostakovich: fuck stalin, fuck the police, fuck tonality
Respighi: nature is here and shes a man
Messiaen: is there a subtype of furries specifically for birds?
Schoenberg: why limit yourself to just one key?
Ives: why limit yourself to just 12 notes?
Britten: gay? never heard of it
Grainger: nobody will comment on your bdsm roleplay if you write catchy tunes
Gershwin: ooooooooowwWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAA
Reich: clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap
Glass: play these 8 measures 37 times then repeat
Cage: *drags piano bench across the stage then walks offstage*
Williams: HOOOOOOORRRRRRRNNNNNNSSSSSSS
feel free to add more
